Satire Thoughts and Musings

What is the British opinion of iced tea?

Being the caring, sharing kind, I actively participate in Quora, the Knowledge sharing site, where I attempt to provide robust answers on topics where I have expertise, or opinion on topics where I have an interest or experience.

Quora’s mission is to share and grow the world’s knowledge.

Mostly these are somewhat technical responses to queries around Microsoft 365 etc.

Occasionally, a question comes along which is so bonkers, left-field or unexpected that there is a choice between either getting snippy, or being British about it. Some of these responses I’m sufficiently proud of (and entertained by) to think they are worth sharing in their own right. Today, I offer you this genuine question:

Question: What is the British opinion of iced tea?

Asked by Byron Lipper on 24 January 2015,

My response

Iced tea is generally regarded, in Britain, as almost incontrovertible proof of the existence of Satan. As a nation, we have greater faith in proper tea than we do in any particular god (or deity collective), however even tea has its demonic counterpart and it’s iced tea.

Asking for iced tea may get you forcibly ejected from civilised establishments. In some counties, the legal punishment for unlicensed manufacture of iced tea include flogging, wedgies and, in extreme cases, collective tuttage.

The last hanging for public promotion of iced tea was as recent as 1951. A Members Bill is being brought to our lower house to reinstate the law and punishment. But that’s the Tories for you. However, there are frequent news reports of people going missing after being found to be secret iced tea drinkers; this seems to be largely restricted to rural communities, fortunately.

For the most part, we are a liberal country. A broad church, some might say. As long as visitors to our verdant isle avoid consumption of iced tea in public and you are not caught encouraging others to participate in this perversion then you will probably be fine.

I shit you not…

By Simon Hudson

Simon Hudson is an entrepreneur, health sector specialist and founder of Cloud2 Ltd. and Kinata Ltd. and, most recently, Novia Works Ltd. He has an abiding, evangelical interest in information, knowledge management and has a lot to say on best practice use of Microsoft Teams, SharePoint and cloud technologies, the health sector, sustainability and more. He has had articles and editorials published in a variety of knowledge management, clinical benchmarking and health journals. He is a co-facilitator of the M365 North User Group Leeds and is Entrepreneur in Residence at the University of Hull.

Simon is passionate about rather too many things, including science, music (he writes and plays guitar & mandola), skiing, classic cars, technology and, by no means least, his family.


One reply on “What is the British opinion of iced tea?”

I’m from the UK and personally I loved iced but I think that’s just because I’m obsessed with all things tea and haven’t learnt the best ways to make it over time. I do agree though it isn’t very popular with the non tea obsessed people of the UK

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